| |
Patrick,
I'll try to send stuff when I can. Below for your
amusement is an upcoming story (unedited)
that I did on MREs. Unfortunately from your
viewpoint, I'm on the Army side of the
battlefield. I bet I'd get similar stuff from the
Marines.
Steve
By Steven Komarow
USA TODAY
V CORPS FORWARD HEADQUARTERS,
Iraq _ The commanding general of the U.S.
Army in Iraq is hustling back to his command
tent when a brown plastic wrapper on the
ground catches his eye. He stops and plucks
from the dirt an unopened Jalapeno Cheese
Spread packet from an MRE food ration.
A quick shake to knock off the dust
and he slips it into his pocket. “That’s a
keeper,” Lt. Gen. William Wallace says with
satisfaction before resuming his stride.
From the generals to the privates,
troops in Iraq are surviving on MREs, or Meals
Ready to Eat. The outer brown wrapper never
changes except for the black ink label. But
from inside there are tales to tell.
There are two dozen different MREs,
the soft-pack rations that replaced cans in the
late 1980s. Each has a main dish with a water-
activated heater pack, several side items such
as the jalapeno spread, fruit, and peanut
butter, and either crackers or a flat wheat
bread. There’s also an accessory pack with
gum, matches, toilet paper, sugar, instant
coffee and other sundry items.
Staff Sgt. Anthony Thompson, 35,
Roanoke, Va., says Jambalaya is his favorite.
But the 16-year veteran says all the rations
today “are a lot better than what they used to
be.” Especially if you douse them with hot
sauce, he adds.
In fact, few soldiers eat the MREs
exactly as offered. Years of research by the
Army’s labs in Natick, Mass., has led to
carefully balanced nutritional combinations.
Years of tinkering by soldiers has produced
different solutions.
Staff Sgt. Grady D. Parris, 32, of
Ashville, N.C., says one of the first things a
soldier learns is how to make a Ranger Cookie
from the condiments in the MRE.
“Get 2 tablespoons water, half a
pack cocoa powder, half pack peanut butter,
some coffee creamer and a pack of sugar. Mix
it together and stick between two crackers,”
he says. “That was basic training stuff.”
Sgt. Andrew Yee, 34, of Louisville,
Ky., has refined his MRE tastes in 13 years of
service, first with the Marines and the last 9
years in the Army.
“The Thai Chicken is my favorite,” he
says – when it’s properly prepared.
“You cut the whole (outer) MRE box
in half and use the bottom as the bowl. You
heat the rice and the Thai Chicken in the same
pouch, let that heat up while you eat the rest
of your food. Then you take the hot rice, put it
in your makeshift bowl and you squeeze your
hot Thai chicken along with your rice. You add
the salt – not all of it – and some Tobasco
sauce. You stir it up and it’s a good meal. It’s
actually the best meal.”
Most soldiers seem to agree that
the Thai Chicken is good. Beef Teriyaki is also
popular, and Beef Stew is a perennial
favorite. Least popular with soldiers here are
the Country Captain Chicken (a pressed
chicken patty with a tangy sauce) and the
Noodles with Vegetables. Latest Army
surveys also rate those at the bottom, so
they’re being replaced.
As in civilian life, there’s a divide
between those who like more exotic
combinations and the steak-and-potato set.
Staff Sgt. Lee R. Sulouff, 30, of
Naples, Fla., says his favorite is meat loaf. “It’s
simple. I don’t care for a lot of the mixed
stuff,” he says. “I just eat them as they are. I
don’t mix a whole lot.”
When he has time, Solouff
rummages through the remnants of several
MRE kits – different flavors have different
sides – and assembles an Army version of a
Whopper. Simple enough: a meat patty, two
portions of wheat bread to make the
sandwich, a cheese packet and a barbeque
sauce packet.
“I want to know how they get the
grill marks on the grilled stuff,” he says. He
and others also don’t like the words “chunked
and formed” that appear on the labels of
several meat dishes. Another mystery: how
come MREs have peanut butter and jelly, but
never in the same meal.
Sgt. Daeman Harris, 28, of Seattle,
is satisfied. “If it’s got jalapeno cheese, it’s
pretty much good to go,” he says, especially
when it’s in the beef stew packet.
“You put the jalapeno on the
crackers, you shove it into the little packet
with the beef stew. And then you’ve got your
vegetable, beef, potatoes -- you’ve got
everything.”
Sgt. William Brooks, 26, Boise,
Idaho, takes the mocha route.
“Put in cocoa packets, depending on
how chocolatey you like it, one or two. Add
about 1 liter of water, 5 coffee packets at
least, and then I also put in at least 5
creamers and sugars,” he says. “It pretty
much tastes like one of those Starbucks
Frappachino drinks.”
Nearly every soldier agrees that
MREs are better than they used to be. Still,
there are complaints. The most common one:
there’s no breakfast MRE.
“They used to have an egg omelelt.
It was kind of runny but it was good,” says
Sgt. Christopher Marshall, 29, of Ridgecrest,
Calif. “I think they could, with the technology
today, make a better one.”
In fact, the Army is always
experimenting with new MREs. There are
special arctic MREs for cold weather. And
coming soon to a war theater near you: the
First Strike Ration, a small but calorie-packed
meal featuring a sandwich for soldiers on the
run.
The first batch has been field tested
by Special Operations soldiers doing classified
missions in secret places, according to the
Army’s Gerald Darsch, who relayed this
feedback: "Our crew will be carrying less
weight during black ops thanks to Natick.....I
can't possibly express the gratitude of Col X
and our soldiers in the field."
Lots of improvements, but ultimate
MREs are still figments of soldiers’ dreams.
Inside the bustling V Corps
command tent, Lt. Col. Rick Carlson of the
101st Airborne Division yells over to his aide.
“Hey Wally,” he says.
“SIR!” responds Spec. Brian
Hubbard.
“I’m hungry. Toss me one of those
steak-and-lobster MREs.”
“But Sir,” Hubbard, replies. “The king
salmon is a better choice.”
After a while, groups of soldiers
know each others’ tastes and trade MRE parts
like baseball cards.
Spc. Brian Jackson, 21, Norristown,
Pa., is “The King of Cocoa Powder” to the
other MPs in his unit, who throw packets on
his sleeping bag. Harris of Seattle collects
coffee packets from his fellow soldiers.
But there are limits to the
generosity. It’s widely known that Lt. Gen.
Wallace fancies the cheese spreads. But that
doesn’t mean he gets them, even from the
soldiers who serve under him.
Says Sgt. Jess Martin, 24,
Alburquerque, N.M., a member of the general’s
security detail, after making sure that Wallace
isn’t in earshot: “Sir, I’ll take a bullet for you
but you can’t have my Jalapeno Cheese
Spread.”
|
